


In Which a Surprising Thing Happens and No One is Surprised

by shouldbeover



Series: Embarrassing senior citizens is fun [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Ignoring all the things that annoyed us, Light Smut, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Some period (WWII) misogeny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 13:54:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7535344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouldbeover/pseuds/shouldbeover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most boring title I think I've ever used.</p><p>Steve and Bucky realize their feelings, decide to keep it secret from the team, which fails miserably, but everyone is supportive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which a Surprising Thing Happens and No One is Surprised

**Author's Note:**

> Lor', posting this in the middle of the night because I keep planning to post it during the day, but not getting a chance. Must post or will sit and stare at it for the rest of my life. Seem to have fallen into a Stucky hole quite suddenly and unexpectedly. First Stucky. Very rusty at writing ff and smut in particular--sorry. Un-beta-ed.

It’s because of the notebooks. Steve kept one and when Bucky came in from the cold, he took to carrying one too. They jotted down things they didn’t understand, or things they wanted to learn more about to ask the others later; to ask, when did that disappear, and do people still do this; and to list all the things that people helpfully suggested they try, or watch, or listen to. Sweet Jesus, what happened to music? And can you believe we can watch movies in our own homes almost like we were at the pictures? And what the hell is wrong with bananas?

Most times they compared notes in Steve’s room, and sometimes Steve could answer Bucky’s questions because he’d had more of a chance to learn, and sometimes Bucky could answer Steve’s questions because he was awake and on a mission at when the time. But one day Bucky jotted down a note in his notebook and decided he didn’t want to share it with Steve.

Suddenly they were teenagers again, only more evenly matched than they ever were then. Steve grabbed Bucky’s notebook and ran across the room holding it aloft. “Whatcha hiding, Buck? Some dame’s phone number? Names of porn sites that Tony recommends? What don’t you want me to see?”

“Give it back, Rogers! It’s nothing! God, what are you, twelve?” Bucky said, giving chase. He lunged for the notebook, but Steve danced back, notebook held high over his head and post-serum he had a couple of inches on Bucky. Bucky grabbed Steve’s arm with his stronger metal one and shoved him against the wall. “Come on, Stevie, give it back!”

Steve laughed, enjoying the rough housing that they were never able to do before, when he could break a bone just by sneezing. “Make me!”

Bucky stopped, still pinning Steve’s arm above his head. They were so close. He looked at Steve’s pink, pouty lips and back up to those baby blue eyes. He leaned forward and pressed his lips softly against Steve’s open mouth. The kiss held for a heartbeat then Steve pushed him back with his left hand and they gaped at one another, breathing hard.

Bucky froze, shocked at himself and certain that Steve would have him thrown out of Stark Tower on his ass because who wants a pervert for an Avenger, one who kisses his supposed best friend out of the blue? He went limp and released Steve’s arm in defeat and waited for the outrage. Steve blinked a few times then jerked forward to grab Bucky’s face in his hands and kiss him back, harder. Now it was Steve pushing Bucky back until his legs hit the bed and he fell backward with Steve on top of him. Now they were struggling against one another in a complete different way, desperate, hungry, needy. Steve broke away just to pull his tee shirt over his head and shove Bucky’s shirt up to his armpits and then off. They franticly struggled with their jeans and Bucky managed to get his off but still stuck on one foot. Steve only got his down past his hips before they started rutting together, y-front to y-front. Their mouths barely separating, hands roaming across broad chests and taut muscles. Bucky’s tongue slipped across Steve’s soft parted lips. Steve gasped. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s slim waist, holding him tightly while Steve gripped Bucky’s shoulders to give him leverage to increase his thrusting and grinding. It was messy and frantic.

Seventy years is a long time to wait for what you really want. It tends to make one a little desperate. “Bucky, oh God, Buck, I’m going to…”

Bucky didn’t say anything, just thrust his hips up to meet Steve’s and groan. The friction of the cloth between them only heightened the sensation. Steve’s thrusts became rough and erratic, as his orgasm overtook him, while Bucky shuddered beneath him and came as well.

Steve rolled off to Bucky’s right side and laid next to him, head against Bucky’s chest staring at the ceiling. “Well, that was…” he began.

“Unexpected?”

Steve laughed, “Yeah, you could say that.”

For a few minutes they just lay there, breathing hard, both shocked and yet somehow not surprised either.

“So,” Bucky started, “I guess this means we’re pansies?”

“Buck,” Steve chided, “that’s not the term anymore. It’s considered derogatory.”

Bucky chuckled, “We just…just… And you’re worried about terms?”

“Yeah, we should probably, um, talk about that. This.” Steve vaguely waved his hand over their half-naked bodies.

“Yeah,” agreed Bucky, but neither moved and neither spoke for some minutes more.

“Um,” they both said at once, and laughed, but they still didn’t look at one another.

Steve began, “Have you known, about this, this, I mean, when did you…? Did you?”

“Know I was in love with you?” Bucky asked. Then lower, “Wanted you?”

“Yeah,” Steve whispered back.

“I don’t know, I mean I didn’t say it to myself, I love Steve, I’m in love with Steve, my best friend. Not in those words. I knew I loved you. I thought it was brotherly, but sometimes, I be with a girl, necking, I would wonder what it would be like, if it were you, what it would be like to kiss your plush mouth, then I’d kiss the girl harder, tell myself it was just because I was hot and the girl wasn’t likely to put out.”

“Charming.”

“Yeah, I know, but the point is, I was, I was in love with you even then even if I couldn’t have put it in words.”

Steve scrubbed his hand through his short hair. “Why didn’t you tell me? We told each other everything.”

Bucky half sighed, half chuckled. “What was I going to say, ‘hey Stevie, I still like girls, but I think I might be in love with you, so howsabout I borrow my uncle’s DeSoto, we go park somewhere, crawl in the backseat and see what happens?’ You’d have run away as fast as your weak little legs could carry you.”

Steve punched him in the thigh. “You don’t know that.” Pause, “I probably would have had an asthma attack first. Or a heart attack.”

“You little—“ Bucky rolled over and started tickling Steve viciously.

“Stop it! Stop it!” Steve laughed. “At least let me get these sticky briefs off!”

Steve lifted his hips and wriggled out of his underwear and jeans together and slung them across the room. Bucky made a low wolf whistle.

“Oh, shut up. You’ve seen me naked before.”

“Not since, you know. You’re amazing. I mean, really, I just…”

Steve blushed. “Well, fair’s fair.” Steve gestured down the length of Bucky’s body.

Bucky teased off his own white underwear and tossed them over to join Steve’s on the floor.

For a moment they simply looked at each other, at these enhanced bodies that one had volunteered for and the other had not. One regarded as a hero, and one as a monster, even his own mind. Despite the serum, there were still scars, scars from injuries that would have killed normal men.

Steve ran his fingers along one jagged line on Bucky’s side, then up to the cruel and ugly striations that meshed flesh and metal at his shoulder.

“God, Bucky, I am so sorry. So, so, sorry,” he whispered, all laughter gone. He ran his fingers down along the silver flesh to Bucky’s hand and meshed their fingers.

“Steve, Stevie, why are you sorry? You didn’t do this. He gripped Steve’s fingers with his own.

“No, but I let it happen. I should have caught you before you fell, should have dislocated my arm to reach you, anything but let you fall.”

Bucky leaned over to kiss him, their fingers still joined. “Oh, Steve, no, don’t do this. Don’t do this to yourself. If you’d have saved me…I’d have had to live with you going into the ice. I’d have had to hide how much I felt so no one would think Captain America’s childhood friend was a fairy so maybe Captain America was queer too, let Peggy be the mourning fiancée while I died inside. And grown old and never met you again, never be here with you now. No, don’t blame yourself, please? It breaks my heart you know, knowing that you want…want to take my guilt as your own, when you’ve never done nothing to deserve it.”

Steve whispered, “Neither did you.”

Bucky flashed his rueful little smile, the one that hurt just to look at it. So Steve kissed him to wipe it away.

This time it was slow; kisses along jaws, and throats, fingers skittering across biceps, pecs, abs with silent worship. They moved together, Bucky’s leg between Steve’s, the slow burn as their bare cocks touched and slid against one another. Bucky licked his palm and gripped them both. He began to stroke slow and intense while looking in Steve’s eyes. Steve wrapped his hand around Bucky’s, guiding him, grounding him. Bucky came silently, squeezing his eyes shut, with a desperate cry at the end as if wrenched from him. Steve stilled, his own need forgotten in watching Bucky. And only when Bucky had crumpled against him, did he stroke himself to release murmuring, “Bucky, Bucky, my Bucky,” as he came.

“I’m yours, Steve.” Bucky whispered into his skin, “Always was, always will be.”

“Till the end of the line,” Steve whispered back, “til the end of the line.”

After a lull of gentle breathing and occasional kisses, Steve pulled Bucky against him, Bucky’s head resting on his chest with Steve’s arm around his shoulder.

“One advantage of being a super-soldier they didn’t mention,” Steve whispered, “no waiting time.”

“I didn’t have much waiting time before the serum, to be honest.”

“Braggart,” replied Steve. He wiped down their chests and fingers carefully and shoved the dirty sheet aside. “Remind me to change the sheets tomorrow.”

“One of Tony’s robots will do it,” Bucky responded. “Speaking of Tony, are we going to tell people about this, us? That we’re fair--, gay? Actually, wait a second.” He hoped out of bed to retrieve the notebook from across the room, flipped past a few pages and handed it to Steve.

Scrawled in Bucky’s cribbed handwriting:  
Homosexuality  
Bisexuality  
Demi-sexual?  
(in the margins: help, I’m in love with my best friend, am I gay?)  
Ask the computer???? Ask Jocasta to keep it quiet? Can she, it be trusted?

“This is what I didn’t want you to see,” he said, kneeling next to Steve on the bed. “Only I don’t know if it’s the right term, because it’s not guys, it’s just you.”

“Yeah,” Steve replied, “same here. “I didn’t know though, I mean, like you I didn’t think about how much more you meant to me, or let myself think about it. But maybe I always knew too. Maybe that’s why I was so jealous of those girls you kissed—I thought it was because I wanted a girl, but maybe, I think it was because I wanted you to kiss me. Maybe it’s why I had such trouble getting with Peggy, but you know, I did love Peggy too. It was hard not to; I mean…”

“Yeah, she was a firecracker,” Bucky grinned.

“You don’t know the half of it. Worth a whole platoon if not more.” His eyes went distant and sad.

“And boy was she stacked,” said Bucky, his own memories taking him down an entirely different path.

“Geez, Buck, what do you want, a threesome already? Nat’s got a figure on her as well; I could call up Agent Hill and we could double date just like the old days.”

They looked at each and burst into giggles, laughing so hard that Bucky flopped over on his back holding his sides. At last the giggles faded and they snuggled in together. Steve pulled the blankets up over the dirty sheet to cover them.

“Hey, Steve, the female form is a beautiful thing, and I’m not afraid to acknowledge that.” Bucky paused, “But I don’t think there’s going to be anyone but you, now. What do you want to tell people? I gotta tell you, I don’t want it to be mushy. We’re not the kind for flowers and chocolates and doilies on the furniture.”

“Aw,” said Steve, “I don’t get flowers?”

Bucky put on his old smooth talking voice, one that had gotten him into the backseat with many a girl, “You want flowers, Babyface, I’ll get you all the roses you want and more chocolate than you can eat.” They giggled again.

Finally Steve said, “I don’t know, do you wanna tell people? I think half of them think we’re a couple already. I’ve seen some of those things online, pictures people have made with us draped in rainbow flags.”

Bucky thought about it, “I think…maybe not for a while. Not because I don’t want people to know I’m with you, proud to be with you like this, but…so much of our lives are owned by other people. You as Captain America—technically property of the U.S. government, and me with everything, all the memories they took from me. Maybe we keep this just for us for now, kay?”

“Fine with me. Sometimes I think if I never had to leave this room again, be ‘him,’ the hero guy again, I’d be okay with it. I know what Bruce means about the other guy—“

“Maybe not as much as Banner.”

“Yeah, maybe not as much as Banner, but you know what I mean.”

Bucky whispered, “Sometimes…sometimes the Winter Soldier, the Asset, it seems like a whole different person that I was watching on a movie screen. Sometimes I wish it were.”

Steve pulled him closer, “It’s ok now, Bucky, I’ve got you.”

“I know. And I’ve got you. Amazing huh, how many people secretly were gay back then, hiding it. Living their own double lives. People who weren’t like what everybody thought a pansy was. Carey Grant, Tyrone Power…”

“They even think Shakespeare was, from his sonnets and stuff.”

Bucky jerked back, “What? How can they know that? That was like what? A thousand years ago.”

“Four hundred, Bucky. Geez did you copy all of your homework off of me in school?”

“Give me a break, my memory isn’t what it was.”

Steve froze afraid that Bucky was referring to the memories stolen by Hydra, but Bucky went on in a light tone, “I am almost 100 years old.”

Steve relaxed and said, “I think, looking back, that there were a lot of homosexuals in Brooklyn, down where we used to live when we were growing up. Lesbians too. Like Mr. Samuels and Mr. Lewis. They lived together over their antique store. Remember?”

“But geez, they were like a hundred.”

Steve swatted at him, “Doesn’t mean they didn’t have a sex drive. Look at us. And anyway I think they were only in their late 50’s. They just seemed old to us.”

“There were those two ladies, Miss Ruth and Miss Lucille.”

“I always thought they were sisters?”

“Nah, not according to my mom. She said they had a, a whatayacallit, Boston marriage.”

“Hunh? What about the Spykowski ladies? They were definitely sisters.”

“Steve, they were identical twins. Of course they were sisters.”

“Well, you never know, sometimes people start to look alike after they’ve been together.”

“My mom always said that they’d be pretty if they just made an effort, little make-up, dresses that showed their figure.”

“I always thought they were kind of pretty in their own way, just shy. Hey, there were Miss Harvey and Miss Hernandez who taught at the elementary. They lived together.”

“Nah, can’t be, they were sisters, I mean one of them was a sister at least.” Bucky frowned trying to visualize the two ladies in question.

“Bucky, either they were sisters or they weren’t. Didn’t you ever wonder why they had different names if you thought they were sisters?”

“Are you sure?”

“You’re just saying that because Miss Harvey wore pants and smoked cigarillos and Miss Hernandez wore low cut floral dresses and high heels and red lipstick. Not all lesbians want to look like guys.”

Bucky whistled through his teeth, “Miss Hernandez, boy-o, I jerked myself off to thoughts of her more than once.”

“God, Bucky, you were such a dog back then.”

Bucky chuckled and added, “It’s nice you know, looking at the old days like this. Looking back it wasn’t good, people having to hide who they were. Color—blacks being looked down on. But it was ours, our childhoods, our world. Ya’ know?”

“Yeah, I know. Love you, Bucky.”

Pause, “I love you too, Steve.”

“Just you and me, like always.”

“Yeah.”  
***  
They thought it was secret, that they were careful. Bucky kept his own room, but when he thought most of the tower was asleep he would slip into Steve’s. It wasn’t just the sex which remained mostly mutual masturbation, soft kisses and endearments, mainly it was being able to curl up around one another, to hold each other when the bad memories came back. When Steve would wake flailing and screaming Bucky’s name. When Bucky would shake and cry at nameless horrors that he couldn’t even explain.

They thought they were so good at hiding it.

They should have known better.  
***  
Natasha Romanov observed. It was what she was trained to do alongside the ability to kill in a vast number of ways. She read body language, and social cues, and involuntary reactions and tells, so of course she was the first to know (she never guesses).

  
The changes were minute. The Winter Soldier still looked as spooked as any forest animal. He still cased a room before he entered (but then so did she), kept his back to the wall, and kept his exit options open. But for the first time he looked like he might believe that he was actually part of the team, and deserved to be there. More than that though was the way that he leaned into Steve, not just hovering near him, as if Steve was the only thing keeping him safe. Steve was always tactile, particularly with Bucky, but now when his fingers trailed over Bucky’s shoulder they lingered a bit longer and sometimes, when he thought that no one was looking, Bucky would reach up and touch Steve’s fingers with his own. Sometimes Steve’s hand slid down to the small of Bucky’s back rather than across his shoulders.

Natasha nudged Hawkeye. Hawkeye wasn’t that observant up close. So he took himself to a perch OUTSIDE the tower and looked in. He couldn’t see their pupils (come on—he’s good, but not that good), but he could see how when they were speaking together their eyes would flicker to each other’s lips, and their lips would part as if the other made them a bit breathless.

Wanda wasn’t exactly psychic, but she could feel disturbances in psychic waves, and she felt the way that the Winter Soldier’s aura (for want of a better word), shifted not just from black to grey when Steve was present but to an actual spectrum of colors. In other words, he lit up with a sort of bliss around Steve that had been missing before. And Steve, Steve wasn’t as sad when he looked at Bucky, now he positively glowed as if Bucky were the most miraculous thing he’d ever seen (and around Stark Tower that was saying something.)

She nudged Pietro. Pietro accelerated himself to the point where everything around him looked slowed down like a photograph. He got close to Bucky and Steve, looked between them as their eyes dilated and the tiny tremors of pleasure were visible. Saw the barely there smiles that they shared.

The part of Vision that was still an analytical machine noted the change in respiration when Steve and Bucky were near one another, the flush of heat that crept up both of their faces. However, since his organic mind was still learning to understand human emotion he asked Natasha and Wanda for their opinion.

Bruce, who kept his eyes down much of the time, probably wouldn’t have noticed if Steve and Bucky were making out on the couch until Natasha told him. For a very intelligent man he could often be quite stupid.

No one told Thor because they were afraid that he would loudly congratulate the two lovers unaware how big a deal it was for two men from the 1940s to admit their feelings for one another.

Rhodey and Sam caught the nudges going on between Natasha, Hawkeye, Wanda and Pietro, asked a few questions, looked at Steve and Bucky, looked at each other, and did a subtle fist bump.  
***  
Contrary to popular belief, Tony does NOT spy on his guests in Stark Tower. That would be rude. And invasive. And a little icky.  
What he does have is machines, lots and lots of machines that measure temperatures and traffic patterns. They also monitor the life signs of all of the Avengers because, well that’s just sensible.

So when the machines told him that the Winter Soldier’s bedsheets never needed changing he had to figure out why.

The cameras in the hallway told him nothing. No surprise. If Natasha could fool them, then so can Bucky. But he noted that when the life signs disappeared from Barnes’ room, a minute later the monitors picked up two life forms in Steve Rogers’ room… Well, Tony is NOT stupid.

“Son of a bitch,” he said to himself on the fifth night that he watched it play across the screens. “I guess I owe Nat a luxury spa weekend now.”

When the monitors told him that the heart rate and respiration of both life forms in Steve Rogers’ room increased, then went back to normal, then increased again. Several times each night…

“Son of a bitch,” he thought, “Now I owe Romanov that ray gun she’s always wanted. Plus I’m going to need a LOT of booze to block out that image.”  
***  
“You know, Tin Man,” started Tony (he’d wanted to use Bionic Man, but of course neither Steve nor Bucky got that reference and the rest of them except for Rhodey were too young to have grown up on the show, so he had to settle for Tin Man). “If there’s anything you need to make your life in the tower more comfortable, you just have to ask.”

Bucky looked up startled and mumbled that everything was fine.

“Huh,” said Tony, “I only point that out because I wondered if there was something wrong with your bed. You know, since you and Rogers seem to enjoy sleep-overs. I could get bunk-beds for Rogers room if that would make it easier. Bunk-beds? Bunk-beds are great. In fact, bunk-beds for the whole tower. Jocasta, order bunk-beds for the whole tower.”

“How many, sir?”

“Lessee, me and Bruce could use a set down in the lab. The twins, all twins should have bunk beds, right? Nat and Hawk can take turns sleeping with one eye open. Vision doesn’t sleep. Sam and Scott, when he’s around and needs more than a match box, since they’ve bonded. Me and Rhodey—yeah, I know that’s me twice, but it’s my tower. And Thor? He can put the hammer in the top one, it’ll be great. Underoos is 12, he can use a sleeping bag when his aunt lets him out.”

Bucky’s eyes remained resolutely on the coffee table. Steve’s face was completely red.

Bruce and Thor looked thoroughly confused. Clint, Sam, and Pietro were trying so hard not to laugh they looked like they were about to explode. Vision looked curious as if he were watching a nature documentary. Rhodey looked like he wanted to smack Tony up-side the head, but he often had that expression.

Only Natasha and Wanda looked sympathetic. Natasha got up and walked over to the couch were Steve and Bucky were sitting (at a careful distance from one another). On the way she kicked Tony in the shins. She sat down between the two men.

“What Tony is trying to say, in his usual charming way,” she glared back at Tony, “is that we support you in whatever you choose to do. You don’t need to be afraid of us judging you. You two are best friends, and if you’ve moved your relationship to another level…then that is NOBODY’S business but yours, but we are your friends and we have noticed that you both seem happier lately. That’s all. Isn’t it, Tony?”

“Yeah, that’s all, but…”

“Tony,” she said firmly, “no.” Then “And that ray gun better have multiple settings and a digital scope plus a bio-lock grip. Capiche?”

After that there were subtle digs about boyfriends, about ruffled hair and rucked up clothing, but Steve and Bucky just looked so HAPPY, so relaxed and comfortable together that the team couldn’t help but be pleased. Bucky would let his head fall on Steve’s shoulder on movie night and on some nights would even fall asleep with his head in Steve’s lap. The others would tip-toe away leaving Bucky to peaceful sleep knowing how rare it was.

Although Tony was occasionally known to mutter, “Still should’ve gotten bunk beds.”


End file.
